Pilot's Operating Handbook for Life

When I first started my blog over on blogger back in 2007/2008, I wrote a lot more.  Over the years for various reasons, I stopped that, but today, I just have to write the post that I can’t put on the church blog even though I want to.

In 2005, the General Synod of the United Church of Christ passed a resolution supporting marriage equality for the LGBT brothers and sisters among us.  At the time, the plan was to hold a series of forums with members at Grace to discuss what the action by Synod did and didn’t mean, how they arrived at their decision, etc.  Alas, there were some members who were so incensed by the Synod action that they chose (while the pastor was away on vacation) to call a congregational meeting to condemn the Synod action.  Ultimately, that meeting in Sept 2005 was as nasty a meeting as I’ve endured in my local congregation in my 50+ years in churches.  The haters (and no, I don’t use that term lightly) shouted down any attempt to have rational discussion or split the motion and vote on its 2 separate provisions individually.  They had instituted a calling campaign and “members” showed up for that meeting that I had never seen before though I had been attending for 8 years at that time.  They as much as said that some of our members, some of our families and family members, were somehow “less than” and not worthy of God’s love.  To this day there are still members who have psychic scars and hard feelings from that meeting, while there are others who arrogantly boast of that accomplishment.  I’m sure you can tell from the words that I used in that paragraph how I feel about that whole episode.

In the next few days, the United States Supreme Court is likely to rule that same-sex couples should be allowed to receive the legal benefits of marriage just as any heterosexual couple.  At that point, Grace Church will need to take a serious look at the action it took 10 years ago.  The resolution that we passed (by a vote of 70-35) violates every single one of our professed core values.  There is no joy or love in that action, only hate and judgement.  There is no faith or leadership, only “tradition.”  There is certainly no welcoming community, in fact, it is stating that some of our members (and family) are somehow less than others, not worthy of God’s love or not worthy to make their commitment to their partner and family before God.  Further, it has put the pastors of Grace Church for these last 10 years in the uncomfortable position of having to choose between their conscience and what they believe God is calling them to do on the one hand, and their job on the other.  And make no mistake, all three settled pastors and both interim pastors have struggled with this dilemma.  As long as same-sex marriage was not legal in Ohio, this could be shoved in the corner and ignored, but in a few days time, that won’t be an option anymore.  As uncomfortable as it will be, we will have to stand up and decide if what we professed were our core values were merely pretty words or if we really meant them.  And if we really meant them, then we have no choice but to repeal the action we took 10 years ago.  We cannot claim to be a welcoming community and say that some of our members are not welcome to be married by our pastor and/or in our building.  We cannot claim to love all and yet say that some people aren’t deserving of the legal protections in their relationship that most of us enjoy.  We cannot claim to lead and serve and at the same time exclude those in our midst who make us uncomfortable.  We cannot claim to be lead by faith in Jesus Christ and then turn our backs on the those that society treats poorly.  We cannot claim joy as a core value and then deny the joy of celebrating a holy, lifelong commitment before God, between two people who love each other with all their hearts just because they are both the same sex. Jesus made the Pharisees very uncomfortable when he spent time with those on the fringes of society.  It is time for us to stop behaving like the Pharisees and start acting more like Jesus.  We need to stand with those that are on the margins, those who don’t act or look like us, those who make us uncomfortable and let them know that God loves them and they (we) are worthy of that love.  I’ve spent the last 10 years, knowing in my heart that the decision we made was not Godly, but not wanting to reopen wounds that never entirely healed, I remained silent. I can’t, in good conscience, do that any more.  God is demanding that I speak.  This may cost me some friends.  It may cost Grace Church some members, but following Jesus is not a popularity contest.  In fact, it is often lonely and uncomfortable, but if we call ourselves Christians, followers of Christ, this is what we are required to do.  We’ll see what happens.